The other day, my little daughter ran to my room where I was reading to show me a torn throw pillow (of which she was the culprit!) and immediately I started scolding her harshly as I had earlier reprimanded her of another item she had damaged.
But suddenly,
I stopped shouting, not because of her downcast face or that neighbors will be wondering…this woman again?
It suddenly occurred to me that if I continue this way, very soon, this little girl will stop telling me when she does something wrong, and in a bid to avoid my anger, she would start hiding her actions or out rightly deny them when accosted.
Also, I have always been the type of person who thrives on thinking up new or creative ideas of how things can be done in another way from normal.
I am not always afraid of speaking up or pushing my ideas to people for considerations and discussions. I thrive on such discussions. I used to have a boss who I had felt does not always welcome the way I bring up such ideas.
I had observed this based on her facial expression and her shaking of head even before I finished stating my ideas. She responds by telling me the downside of the idea even without considering the merits of the idea and this used to be a source of discouragement and disenchantment for me at work. Not because I thought my ideas were right but because I had expected to get listening ears to my ideas and then getting the opportunity (even if it is later) to discuss the merits and demerits of the ideas.
Then I felt my actions of sharing my ideas or speaking up were not being encouraged or welcomed. I almost stopped speaking up in team meetings or coming up with ideas.
I am discovering that if we are not careful we may be the reason people are not rising to their full potential. In our bid to express our views, opinions to others we may inadvertently prevent the other party from fully expressing his or her rights to flourish or thrive. As we consider our intentions before actions, let us consider the other person at the receiving end with an empathetic insight.
Let me not be the reason that my family, friends and mentees are losing their self-confidence and not reaching their potentials.
Let me pause before judging, assuming and before accusing. This is a note to myself.
I see you!
