The other day, my six year old daughter by her actions unknowingly reminded me on how we can go about getting what we want. I was seated in my ‘little office’ corner in my room trying to draft an official mail when my daughter busted into my room contrary to our agreement that nobody disturbs mummy when she is busy at work (of course, I was still working from home at that time).
I looked up irritably and was about to give her a piece of my mind, she immediately ran to me, hugged me tight and whispered, ‘I just came to tell you that I love you mummy and you are the best mummy in the whole wide world! You can imagine how I melted, hugged her back and while I was still reeling in the euphoria of the feeling of undiluted love, the little imp whispered, ‘Can I take the Yoghurt from the fridge now?
Most times in life, we wonder why we do not get what we want, whether it is material, spiritual or physical needs. I too have wondered about this a lot even as I journeyed in life. It is not as if I am not qualified to get what I am asking for, it is not because I did not ask ‘nicely’ and certainly not because I am asking for what I do not deserve.
My daughter’s actions above gave me a clue to how I can go about getting what I want. I am not saying that this might be a standard procedure but believe me, the principle behind it has been used many times by people and most of the times, they do get what they are asking for. In Africa, we have a saying that the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach! Meaning that it is known that men generally love food and that if you give a man (most times your partner) the food he loves most, you can be guaranteed of getting whatever you want from him.
What I learnt is being careful and deliberate about going around getting what I want, I am not advocating deviousness here but rather postulating the principle of giving and taking.
Before I take from someone else, I ask myself, what have I been giving this person or what would this person benefit from giving to me. Before I demand love from my spouse, I ask myself, if I have been giving him love or I ask myself, what would he benefit from giving love to me?
Most of the time we tend to blame the other party or a system for our inability to receive our requests or solutions we want, but they question we should ask ourselves is what the other party is gaining from us.
If we put more emphasis in giving, whether it is a service, product, an idea, a solution or comfort, be rest assured that we have set in motion an avenue towards our getting what we want!
Of course, my daughter got her yoghurt, and I got another hug and she swiftly left my room and I had my peace!
